It's 2:45am on December 24th, and I could hardly sleep. Maybe it's the Starbucks earl grey latte that's keeping me awake. Or maybe it's the fact that it's already Christmas eve on the other side of the world, and I am lying here awake...wondering what festivities my family and friends on the other side are up to.
I've spent holidays with my family every single year since I was born... up until 2007 when I moved to Canada on my own. Now, I dread the holidays. I used to look forward to coming home to familiar and happy-to-see-me faces each year, but now the holidays are a period of uncertainty. I'm never sure where I will be spending the holidays, or whom I will be spending them with.
The big question on my mind is always, "Will I be getting lots of love this year?" And by love, I mean overwhelming attention from a hovering mother who never ceases to ask questions about my life and adventures in Manila, or my academic successes, or my odyssey to build a successful career in a foreign land. By love, I mean excessive feeding by a grandmother who thinks I am fat but that I should eat even more. By love, I mean being spoilt by aunts and uncles with gifts and unnecessary material things. By love, I mean lots of bonding with my sister, brothers, cousins and the oh-so-reliable strawberry margarita.
Two years ago, I asked myself, "Will I be getting lots of love this year? That year, I spent Christmas in Banff. I braved the ski slopes in an attempt to impress my boyfriend's family and almost killed myself in the process with one too many face plants. It was my first white christmas, my first christmas away from home, and my first christmas with a boyfriend's family. Yes, I was scared. But yes, I did get lots of love... and turkey... and gifts!
After an awesome christmas, I flew to Montreal to have an even more awesome New Year. I went for a week-long AIESEC conference. And by conference, I mean serious business during the day, and serious parties during the night. I ended up welcoming the new year with 400 friends who were strangers to me just days before. So yes, I was indeed surrounded with lots of love.
Last year, I spent Christmas in Calgary and the New Year's in Saskatoon. Lots of love in both places.
This year, I will be spending Christmas in Vancouver - my new home - and will then fly out to the Caribbean for New Year's. Hey, it's the Caribbean. Who won't feel the love?
As I write this, I realize that three years in a row, I'm all over the place during the holidays. I haven't stayed in one single spot. It makes me think of myself as a nomad. Maybe I'm trying to make up for all those holidays before 2007 spent in the same place. Or maybe it's because I now consider myself a citizen of the world... I am never certain about where I will be, but always certain about getting much love wherever I go.
To all the strangers that I have met the past couple of years and who have become my friends and my family, you know who you are. Thank you for all your love, especially during the holidays.
xox,
Katrina
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